Britney, on the verge of turning twenty, was starting to look at the world in a different way. She was beginning to ask herself questions like: “Why me? What does all this mean? What should I be doing with it?” The stress of constantly recording and touring and promoting herself, as well as her parents’ divorce—all of which she had seemed to be taking in stride over the previous year and a half—was weighing heavily on her now. She suffered from insomnia and anxiety attacks. Benz remembers, “It was tough on her, she had a lot going on. A lot of people were counting on her, and she had a lot of obligations to meet. She felt very anxious about not wanting to disappoint anyone.”
She retreated a bit into herself but appeared to gain strength from the example of Madonna. She saw the similarities between them; Madonna had grabbed the big golden chalice, just like she had. Only Madonna was tougher. Madonna was in control. If you screwed with Madonna, she would screw you right back. Britney listened to Madonna’s albums Ray of Light and Music over and over. She particularly loved “What It Feels Like for a Girl,” which Madonna had dedicated to “all the pop bitches out there.”
At the same time, Fe Culotta observes, “She was in this weird place emotionally. She was enjoying the fun stuff, but it was so surreal. It was like she was gorging herself on life. The only way she would ever get any rest was if she completely collapsed with exhaustion.” No breaks for Britney. Instead, she started gearing up for her next effort: the Dream within a Dream tour, which would kick off on November 1 to coincide with the release of her third album, Britney. With this album, Britney left the teenage bubblegum sound behind, and although the critical reception was mixed, the album sold 750,000 copies in the first week (less than her previous effort, but still impressive). Britney immediately rose to the top of the charts, making her the first female artist in music history to have her first three albums debut at number 1 on the Billboard 200 list.
